2020 In Review
Before we get started, I should make clear that this is not a blog about New Year’s resolutions. I am a huge advocate AGAINST resolutions. Is it good to have goals? Absolutely - but they should be realistic and organic, not based in some idea that we need to make a drastic change on January first that we just spent a year (or more) avoiding.
Studies have shown time and time again that New Year’s resolutions are not only ineffective in reaching goals but actually make people feel worse about themselves.
I’m not a fan. So this isn’t a blog about resolutions.
That being said - I LOVE this time of year. I love New Year’s day - all that leads up to it and everything that comes after. To me, New Year’s is a cleanse. Like the best shower you have all year. Like a spotlessly clean house. Like the smell after a good hard spring rain.
Its an opportunity to purge ourselves of all the stress, anxiety, and pains from the year behind and a chance to dream, hope, and plan for all of the newness ahead.
I know 2020 has been hard on all of us for so many reasons. This year has been exhausting and full of uncomfortable emotions…. I know.
Their are endless jokes about how horrible 2020 has been, how we all can’t wait for it to be over, and how 2021 better be better. My sister believes in the future we are going to refence all of the lasting changes from this year with one word “covid.” Like how we overstock toilet paper? covid. Or how we don’t blow birthday candles out? covid. How no one touches in pictures? covid.
Many of us are anxiously anticipating a chance to put 2020 behind us.
But before you decide to delete 2020 from your memory, I’d like to challenge you to look back.
In graduate school, I focused heavily on adulthood and aging psychology, specifically geriatric psychology. The aging process has always been something that fascinates me. The way we age is really a beautiful thing.
There is a type of therapy, typically used with geriatric folks, called “Life Review Therapy.” Get this, it wasn’t until the 1960’s that someone, psychiatrist Dr. Robert Butler to be exact, considered the idea that reviewing life, may make the experience of dying more easy. He defined a life review as “a natural event in which an individual recalls his/her past experiences, evaluates them, and analyzes them in order to achieve a more profound self-concept.”
In 1974, Dr. Butler’s theory was developed into a form of mental health therapy. Today, life review therapy is widely used in geriatric psychology.
The benefits of life review therapy include:
offers a sense of peace and empowerment
puts life in perspective
reveals important memories
identifies milestones, achievements, and lessons
helps to resolve unhealed pains, wounds, and resentments
allows space to find hope, value, and meaning in life
improves self esteem
For a long time now, its been my tradition to utilize New Year’s day as an opportunity to review my year. I call it my micro-dosing of life review therapy :) I keep them all in a journal and re-read prior years’ reviews as well. It brings me so much peace. Not only have I discovered that even my worst years are incredibly valuable but it also allows me the knowledge that after the hardest things, come some of the most wonderful things.
So here is my challenge, look back. Don’t forget 2020. Don’t forget your struggle because in your struggle you will find growth, strength, power, change, resiliency, and yes - even joy.
Below is the life review I ask my clients to complete. Give it a try this year. Look back at 2020 - there is good there, I promise. As always, let me know how it goes!
The moment I felt the worst this year.
The moment I felt the best this year.
One lesson I learned this year.
One challenge I overcame this year.
One fear I faced this year.
One new thing I did this year.
The relationship I most valued this year.
The accomplishment I am most proud of this year.
The best adventure I had this year.
One hope I have for next year.
Stay connected and stay hopeful,
Angie