A Good Therapist
A question I get quite often from friends, family, and patients in emergency departments I work with is “how do I know if my therapist is good? How do I know if its working?”
Here’s the thing. Every therapist is different. We all have different personalities, theoretical approaches, clinical skill sets, and ethical boundaries.
One very important place to start when hunting for a therapist is to make sure the provider has a mental health license. There are lots of life coaches and self proclaimed healers out there that market themselves as therapists but are not.
Make sure your therapist has an active license in the state you live. An active licenses means they have years of schooling, a governing board to ensure they remain ethical and use evidence based practices, and that they maintain their responsibility to continue their education each year they practice.
In MN this will look like letters behind their name such as: LADC, LPCC, LCISW, LMFT, LP.
After you find a therapist who looks like they could be helpful - PLEASE STICK IT OUT! Don’t leave the relationship right away if the first session is uncomfortable.
Give it at least 3 sessions. The first session, the therapist is getting an idea of the work you will do together through assessment. The second session is the first session that will depict a normal hour with your therapist. By the third session you will start to know if your therapist is a good fit for you and your goals.
Next - I often hear “I tried therapy, it didn’t work for me. I don’t like to talk.” My response is ALWAYS “therapy doesn’t work if you don’t work it.” Therapy is not:
Client: “these are my feelings.”
Therapist: “boop! You’re cured.”
Therapy is hard work. It is intimate. It’s messy and imperfect. It requires courage. It can be ugly. It means sometimes you leave the couch crying, exhausted, and raw.
BUT, therapy should never put you at risk. It should never make you feel worse than you did when you started. It should, in the long run, help to heal you. You should begin to self actualize, learn coping skills, see improvement in your relationships, and gain self love.
When you start therapy - here are some questions to ask your therapist:
What are your strengths (and weaknesses) as a therapist?
What is typical session like? How long are the sessions?
What's expected of me? (For example, will there be homework assignments? Check-ins between sessions?)
How many clients have you had with similar circumstances to my own? When was the last time you worked with someone similar to me?
What is your general philosophy and approach to helping?
How do you handle conflict in therapy?
While in therapy - here are some questions to ask yourself:
Do I trust my therapist? If not - why?
Am I being as honest as I can with my therapist? If not - why?
Do I feel like my therapist can help me? If not - why?
Do I like the way my therapist offers feedback? If not - why?
Do I feel respected by my therapist? If not - why?
Do I feel understood by my therapist? If not - why?
Do I feel better, worse, or the same after a session with my therapist?
A good therapist would never expect you to bare you soul to us on day one. We understand that trust is earned. It is okay to tell a therapist “I am not ready to talk about that.” It is okay to tell a therapist “I don’t trust you yet.” And when we we make a mistake with you - it is okay to tell us that too.
I will ALWAYS encourage the tough conversations from my clients. I am human too. I am perfectly imperfect - just like you. But with me, you will engage in a relationship. I promise I will always meet you in the middle - authentically, raw, honest, and ready to work.
Remember - it works if you work it.
So - are you ready to work? Email me at ahaag@mindrevolutiontherapy.com to start today!
Stay connected,
Angie.